Confessions
by JollyBigSis
Summary: Yuugi's in love with Kaiba, Kaiba is smitten with Yami. Jou is straight and in denial, Bakura is lusting after Yami; and Yami is totally clueless. Discover what each individual have to say about their predicament. A PWP fic.


_Damn Evil Plunnies..._

_**Warnings**__:_ Character OoCness, cussing, sex references and insinuations, and incoherent ramblings. Complete and utter crack, so please proceed with caution. I will not be held responsible for any brain damage suffered as a result of your peruse. You have been warned.

The usual 'Blah' applies. So grammar, typos and errors will be amended when I can keep my eyes open long enough...

_**Disclaimer**__**: **__I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or the Incredible Hulk._

Yuugi's in love with Kaiba, Kaiba is smitten with Yami. Jou is straight and in denial, Bakura is lusting after Yami; and Yami is totally clueless. PWP fic.

O-o-O-o-O

Hi, my name is Yuugi. Mutou Yuugi. I am eighteen years old, a senior in High school and _gay_.

Gay, did I hear you say? Yep, gay! Which is a little problematic considering I am four foot nothing with huge eyes and _cute_! Yes, you heard me...cute! I mean, cute would be alright if I was trying to impress older women and _girls_, but considering I am aiming for HOT guys, cute really doesn't work in my favour...unless the dudes are into shota!

Not that looking like jailbait doesn't have its advantages, if you are into creepy old men and the sadistic kind. But I am not. Nope, I like my men: tall, dark and handsome—everything I am not—I might add. But I have my eyes on a certain person, a person with all those attributes and more.

Yep, I have a crush.

A big crush...

_A VERY BIG CRUSH_!

And who, you might ask is the person I am crushing on?

Well, let me tell you.

His name is Kaiba Seto and he's the same age as me, goes to the same High School as me and is sex on legs..._long legs_! And don't even get me started on his body! Oh, how I look forward to gym classes so I can discreetly leer and ogle to my heart's content! His body isn't muscular, not the Incredible Hulk type of muscular, it's more slim with toned abs and firm biceps...model calibre, if you know what I mean. You know, the ones who stares from posters looking all sexy and mysterious with an expression that screams 'want me to _do_ you?'

Ah crap, I am drooling again...

So, where was I? Ah, Kaiba Seto. Broody and cold, he has the most piercing blue eyes I have ever seen! I could drown in his gaze; it's like a staring into the ocean on a summer's day or when he's angry, it darkens into stormy pools that send shivers down my spine. Not that I have reason to be scared of him when he like that. No, he rarely is angry with me because, frankly, he barely notices me.

Why, you ask?

Well, that's because there is a person he is crushing big time on...and I mean _big time_...like I am crushing him.

Who? Who is this person capable of turning this fit stud into a besotted schoolboy? Well, technically, it isn't true; I mean, he _is_ a schoolboy, but he doesn't show his besottedness, is that even a word? Meh, whatever! Nope, his exterior is stony and poker-faced as usual, but I _know_ otherwise. Heck, I've been in love with him since Junior High. I know every single facial expression he's made. I have stalked him with my eyes, raped him with my mind and had imaginary babies with him...but you don't need to know that. Anyway, as I was saying, I have studied him since I was twelve so I _know_ he's in love.

And who is the lucky person, you ask? See, I used the word 'person' and not girl? Ha, that's because _that_ person is not a girl!

_What_? Did I hear you gasp in disbelief? Yes, you heard right, the _person_ is male and he is none other than my nii-san, Mutou Yami, who happens to be known as the legendary...wait for it..._Pharaoh_ in our school! I mean, what the heck? Why Pharaoh? Why not Beauty, Emperor, Butterfly or just 'The Legend', why _Pharaoh_?

Whoever came out with that tosh is a retard!

Anyway, my nii-san, Yami—who has been known as The Pharaoh since I can remember in High School—is very charismatic, gorgeous and _taller_.

Everything I am not!

On top of that awesomeness, he's extremely intelligent and excels in everything he does, whether it's sport or studies. He's achieved the highest score in all the end of year exams at school; an accomplishment that has yet to be surpassed despite he no longer attends.

_His legend lives on_.

Even Seto, who is the _other_ smartest guy I know, has failed to beat his record. I am certain it irks him, but Seto doesn't show it, I know because I've watched him since I was twelve.

Needless to say, I pale in comparison to nii-san, which is why nobody notices me. To be known as the little cute brother of _The Pharaoh_ is fine by me, except in the case of my crush, it is not. You get what I mean?

Well, it's not like I am friendless. In fact, I have lots of friends...okay, scratch that and start again.

I have a _few_ friends that are close to me and that are not in love with my nii-san. Jonouchi and Honda are their names and they are, thankfully, not bewitched...well, not much anyway, which is a relief.

Jonouchi, or Jou as we call him, is straight so he isn't under my nii-san's spell. It automatically makes him my best friend by default and it allows him the privilege of being all touchy-feely with us. Yes, even with my nii-san who tolerates his handsiness! It makes me wonder why nii-san allows it considering how much he hates being pawed.

_How do I know that_?

I know because he has this creepy friend called Bakura who comes and visits every so often and is all over nii-san like a fly with honey! Seto says their friendship is so mismatched that he likened it to a flower speared on a cow turd. I don't have to remind you who represented the turd in Seto's mind, do I?

Now, why my nii-san is friend with Bakura is beyond me. Apart from the fact that he is a classmate and I know he's got the hots for nii-san, much to Seto's annoyance, the guy is quiet and well, creepy. He has this vibe that makes me want to go and hang myself. It's dark. It's sinister. And it's spending a lot of time with us! Stupid creepy senpai!

Seto spends a lot of time here too, but that's because I invite him. He never declines unless nii-san is not around, which is pity as I would love to be the focus of his attention for a change; then I might get a chance to act out one of my fantasies, the one with the warm sake would be nice, I think! Pffft, this shows how unrealistic my dream is—the legal age for drinking in Domino is twenty and I am only eighteen!

Sucks really!

Mind you, it's not that we've not had alcohol before. Evil senpai once snucked some into our home when nii-san wasn't around and we: Bakura, Jou, Honda and I got totally wasted! Sadly, Seto wasn't there, which was a shame because I would have totally jumped him...or rather offered myself up to him...under the pretence of being drunk. The plan was perfect if it could be implemented. At least, it would have been one heck of a memory as opposed to the crappy hangover we got the next day. That and the rollicking we got from nii-san. He banned creepy Kura from our house for a month, saying he was a bad influence to his juniors. I swear Seto visited more often during Bakura's absence, he doubled his efforts and capitalised on the opportunity; and I got to see him twice as much!

The funny thing is Seto never really does anything whilst he was around. He would rarely interact with us, and when I say 'us', I mean Jou, Honda and me; and he would barely speak, except to annoy Jou. And annoy Jou he did, my bestie's so easily goaded, which made Seto taunt him more. It was a vicious circle that had Jou chasing his tail, if he had one. Hmmm, Seto mentioned "mutt" at some point, I think.

Of course, he's civil to nii-san. It was painful to see him dying to talk to nii-san whilst trying so hard to _not_ _look_ as though he wants to. He would sit there with his 'Mightier-than-thou' attitude and pointed silence.

Now, it makes me wonder just how 'mightier' his other asset is, if you know what I mean! Wink, wink! Oh heavens, the thoughts are making me delirious and I think trashy, not that I don't when it comes to Seto! Just because I _look_ like a twelve year old, doesn't mean I have to _act_ like one, right? After all I have been lusting over Seto since I was twelve—even before I hit puberty! Heck I can't even blame my condition on my raging hormones, because it barely existed then. Makes me wonder if it existed in the first place. As you can see, I am still waiting for the promised spurt growth! I think it's gotten lost—along with my masculinity!

Anyway, as I was saying, my poor nii-san would be horrified if he knew how lewd my thoughts are. Urgh, such impure thoughts, go away! Shoo!

Oh, why does Seto have to be so perfect? Why does he make my legs jelly and my heart leap out of my chest and my dick out of my pants! Oh, why does he not love me, dammit!

Sometimes, I want to storm up to him and grab him by the collar of his jacket and smooch him one, you know with tongue and all, but my height poses a slight problem. I reach about his waist and well, the only thing I'll be grabbing is his...well...his...you know...

_Maybe, it's not such a bad idea after all_, _ne_?

So, where was I? Oh yeah, as I was discussing Seto's attitude in our house. Like I said, he'd just sits and glare at his competition. Even I am not exempt from it when the mood takes him, not that I mind, I am ready to scream "Kill me" whenever he death-glares me! Just the thought is enough to send delicious shivers down my spine. I am so delusional, so willing and so desperate...oh, and did I mention delusional?

But any amorous attempts by yours truly are ineffective. It bounces right of that that impenetrable exterior and smacks me in the face. Gods, I feel so moronic for trying so hard. Sometimes, it pleases me to see him getting a taste of his own medicine! Unreciprocated love is a bitter pill to swallow if you don't like pills and bitterness, but I quickly relent when I see that soft gaze directed at nii-san. It happens when he thinks no one is looking.

Only nii-san is able to turn that brilliant mind into a cesspool of mush! Of course, he doesn't show it, but I know 'cos I've been studying him since I was twelve!

I wonder if nii-san will ever catch on to the reason for the attention he's getting. It's rather painful to see him blundering around in his cluelessness, breaking hearts and inadvertently bones if the obsessive Seto had his way. Yep, nii-san is oblivious.

So dense!

Not. A. Clue!

It's not like he's inattentive. No, nii-san is anything but. He is the perfect host to our guests and his dumplings in brown sugar syrup are to die for! Another reason to attract the crowd, you know? And it's interesting to see him interact with my friends. He's warm and friendly around them and always joins in with the fun, whipping their sorry ass on every game they play. Occasionally, Seto would challenge nii-san to a game, but that is few and far between because nii-san _always_ owns him. Yes, nii-san is good at that too.

Trouncing Seto.

Every. Single. Time.

That was how I discovered my beloved was a sore loser!

A very sore loser.

Not the 'throwing-a-tantrum-and-stuff-around-in-a-fit' type. No, his was more of a controlled 'it's-a-fluke-so-this-doesn't-count-as-a-victory-because-I-decreed-it' type.

Denial? Yes.

But his sullenness is rather cute.

Sometimes, I feel left out because they are so absorbed in their activities that they forget about me. Some friends, huh?

_Bastards_!

So I pout and I mean _really_ _pout_! My pouts juts out so far that if it rained, my chin would remain dry. It is flawless! Awesome, huh? Nii-san can't resist it; he's a sucker for my sulky hurt look.

Luckily, nii-san would always notice my displeasure and draw me into whatever they are doing, even shifting to make space for me to sit next to him. It's nice to snuggle up to him and be all _cosy_. It makes the others green with envy! And when I am feeling particularly evil, I would coax a kiss from him.

You should see Seto bust a vein and Bakura have an aneurism. Their reactions are priceless! And it works.

Every. Single. Time!

That's not to say, Seto doesn't try to woo nii-san. There are times when Seto manages to catch nii-san's attention for himself. In fact as time progresses, my beloved has perfected the art of luring nii-san. It's called 'provocation' and I don't mean the seductive kind, unless you are like me and find whatever Seto does is kinda sexy!

Nope, Seto likes to lure nii-san in a confrontation—a ritual—a competition of trying to get the better of each other. Sometimes, nii-san wins and other times, Seto does. I am secretly rooting for my beloved because I like the look on his face when he's won a victory against _The Pharaoh_. You know the one who scored the highest marks in the end of year exams. Seto has yet to beat that, but given the right incentive, I am sure he could do it and I am supporting him all the way! I know I am a traitor and there's nothing I can say in my defence, but his victory is like a victory for me and nii-san pouts so prettily.

Oh my beloved, look what you have turned me into! From a polite and considerate individual, I have become crass and traitorous! If only you can return my feelings!

In love? Much!

Willing? Much!

Unfair? _Damn right_!

My life sucks to the point I wish I was straight, but that would mean I'd have to date girls...girls like Anzu...so...

I digress!

If only Seto loves me...but he doesn't. By the way, did I mention my life sucks?

So, as you can tell, I am hopelessly in love.

With Kaiba Seto.

Since I was twelve, but you know that already, _right_?

_~TBC~_

O-o-O-o-O

**A/N**: So, the next victim will be...Kaiba, Yami, Bakura or Jou? Eeny, meeny, miney, mo...

Yes, I know, 'besottedness' and 'handsiness' is not really a proper word, but sod it, it sounded good!

Not bad for a day's work, huh? Okay, this was just an excuse to procrastinate and not work on 'Voices...' but now I have it out of my system, I will obediently return to what I am _supposed_ to be doing. Please bear in mind, this is a product of one very disturbed individual and it is NOT to be taken seriously. My muse got the better of me and it spawned this fic, so I decided to share it with you. Like I said earlier, it is not to be taken seriously, as it is just mindless humour and insane fun.

Anyho, I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it; as always your thoughts are much appreciated. Thanks for reading~.


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